Wake up and smell the LaBatt's Burtis!
THEY ship you off to the middle of nowhere for supposed "training" while Alan Levine is working in a multimillion dollar research facilty. You're taking pictures of pebbles while Mr. L. manipulates space and time - which, by the way, is how they get that mammoth facilty inside the tiny confines of Shed 4. THEY give you a camera that will only take video sideways whille Mr. L. is controlling huge vats of Liquid Nitrogen and powerful lasers through the power of his mind.
It's another setup Martha, just like last year - you're being distracted with fake "training" and holograms while CVI carries on their schemes. It's not too late - keep your aluminum foil handy at all times! Don't trust anyone, especially my brother Jim Beets - he's not quite right and is constantly spouting weird theories.